Minutes from the production meeting about “Lightning Rods”

The Wonder Glen Meeting Minutes – recorded by Miriam K., (cert. stenographer)

 

Pieter: Just back from Delmonico’s. Ate two pounds of swordfishes, so let’s make this short. The scare with Dean’s lightning strike is over and we know it was hysterical hog shit. Let’s move on. I been striked by lightning, too, on Jacque’s boat. A lot of people have got their gikki zapped by Thor’s hammer. It’s not that rare. So this gives me an idea for our new show: Lightning Rods.

 

Aidan: Dean went through a lot of –

 

Pieter: Fetch four or five assholes who got already hit by lightning, so we know they are electrical conductors, then we place them in a house, OK?

 

Sarah: The Discovery Channel already has a show that’s an eyewitness re-enactment style show about lightning.

 

Pieter: No. This is a contest. We have these folks do some activities, high risk for getting re-striked: go up on a pole, golf in a foil suit, go up to a high place and hold up a metal stick. Big money for the first person who takes a bolt.

 

Sarah: Would that be legal?

 

Pieter: Ask Stusnick.

 

Sarah: Is that our lawyer?

 

Pieter: Stusnick is one of the best humans beings there is.

 

Sarah: I looked at his web site and was wondering … what kind of lawyer is he? Real estate?

 

Pieter: What kind of lawyer is he? He’s a lawyer that removed a bullet out of a soldier’s calf in the Falklands.

 

Miriam: You were in the Falklands war?

 

Pieter: Officially, no. Nor was I a member of the Black Hounds.

 

Miriam: Black Hounds?

 

Pieter: Google it.

 

[Miriam K. note: stusnicklaw.com and zwartehonden.nl]

 

Aidan: Sorry, but we picked our lawyer because he sucked a bullet out of your thigh?

 

Pieter: [unintelligible]

 

[Miriam K. note: Pieter said a whole bunch of things in another language at this point]

 

Aidan: Even if Stusnick is a great lawyer, I think we need to think hard about whether we really want to do a reality show where we’re hoping people will get electrocuted. Dean got lucky, but he is really—

 

Pieter: I got some swordfishes in here that really want to go swimming in the toilet. Meeting adjourned.