OHMIGOD! “Begulpaca” came out when I was a senior in college. Me and my friends would go and we’d all be crying! Except my friend Rachel, she said that she couldn’t cry b/c of taking Effexor.

First, Begulpaca was a piece of shit. But this is serious. A) Why are you publicly stating something that’s private (mail and phone calls)? B) If Aidan or Pieter is jumping ship WE SHOULD KNOW NOW!

I think you just answered your own question. This is a rare example when privacy is trumped by our need to know. Guys?

I have no immediate plans to seek other employment. I’ll be out of the office until 2 p.m.

DUDE! That proves it. WTF!?

Does this mean Wonderglen is going bankrupt? Should I ask my friend who makes “Pegacorn” purses if I could work with her?

Calm it! Just called Pradeev Samir over at B + S. Aidan is not receiving any enticements. What is happening is that Jim Begley is suing Aidan because his garage is encroaching and the dog pissed all over something. They will settle for $750. I think that’s all this is.

If Aidan goes, I go. Probably to start my own Goji juice business.

Wow! It’s nice to know I’m wanted! I’m so sorry if this caused anyone to worry. I love each and every one of you here, and I love our mission. I made it very clear to them that I would be staying at Wonderglen and would not entertain ANY offer from them.

You mean they made you an offer?

I never let them.

But they were going to make you an offer?

Again, I immediately let them know how happy I was at WG! They never had a chance …

Then you ripped out your checkbook and paid for the piss damage on Jim Begley’s Porsche Targa. WORK NOW, PLEASE.