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Subject: | Boy Scout Lightning Fanatics |
| From: | Sarah Madrick | |
| Date: | 12/04/08 09:13 AM |
Good news, everyone! I may have found the perfect contestants for “Lightning Rods.”
And check this out:
Lightning Rods Mind Reader Final B
They’ve all been struck, they all live together, and I got in touch with them and best of all, they want to do the show. They feel like it would “close the loop.”
Pieter Voorhees at 11:13AM
You nailed the bull in the eyeball, Sarah. Casting will probably be cheaper this way.
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Subject: | list of demands |
| From: | Aidan Weinglas | |
| Date: | 12/03/08 04:15 PM |
There may be a way for me to get back on board with the “Lightning Rods” project. Dean and I have been talking, and we think there’s an opportunity to use “Lightning Rods” in a positive way: Dean could bring a healing angle to the show, and he’s willing to consider filming a therapy session with whoever gets struck by lightning. That could even be part of their prize!
Dean hasn’t said he’ll do it yet, but I think he would if the following conditions were met:
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1. $55,000 2. laptop with Microsoft programs 3. dedicated admin so that everything doesn’t have to go through Miriam 4. four 30-second promo spots for Dean’s book, Mandolini’s Clarinet, during each episode of “Lightning Rods” 5. a robe, jacket and hat with show logo. |
And of course the show would have to be re-titled (something like “Dr. Dean Payne’s Lightning Rods” or “Lightning Rods with Dr. Dean Payne.”)
Nick Carcallo at 4:19PM
Yo Nick here, diving back in on this project. I agree with Aidan’s take on using this as a vehicle for peace and healing.
I am back on board 110%.
Peace,
N.
Miriam Kinkheune at 8:26AM
FYI, everyone: I am also available to pitch in a helping hand in times of crisis such as this in the future. However, I would appreciate the respect of being asked to do so. Please don’t make me have to ask you if I can help out. It’s degrading.
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Subject: | Re: Lightning Rods Casting |
| From: | Pieter Voorhees | |
| Date: | 11/21/08 04:00 PM |
Sarah, crank up the motor on Lighting Rods casting.
Aidan and Nick, since you wanna opt out of this goldmine, how about research on a Sparklings water service for the office?
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Subject: | Lightning Rods Casting |
| From: | Pieter Voorhees | |
| Date: | 11/21/08 11:00 AM |
Nick, what is the status with collecting the little guys and gals to become human lightning rods?
Nick Carcallo at 11:55AM
I’m not coming in today.
We should not do the Lightning Rods show.
Peace, Nick
Nick Carcallo at 12:08PM
LSESSI blew me off, so I started surfing around the web for stuff on lightning strike survivors and I viewed some hella sick shit. I need a day of fasting and meditation with the peace pipe. Internal healing.
Aidan Weinglas at 12:14PM
Yes, I know from Dean’s experience it can be hard to see what survivors have gone through.
Nick Carcallo at 12:15PM
No. This is way different, man. I can tell you now that there is nothing wrong with Dean. These photos I saw made me throw up. It’s sicker than the two girls and one cup video.
Aidan Weinglas at 12:16PM
I think we need to discuss Nick’s concerns about “Lightning Rods.” I think what he’s saying is important: We don’t need to exploit and abuse weak people to make good content.
Aidan Weinglas at 1:24PM
Yes, Sarah, it can be very serious and very sad. (Since he was struck, Dean has begun to act “drunk” after only a few glasses of wine.)
Pieter Voorhees at 2:13PM
This is a business, not a AIDS ride. This could be the biggest show on television, or it could be a no-ratings kinder-ködl.
Miriam Kinkheune at 2:15PM
What if we just change the show idea a little bit, like if we have lightning survivors but they get a makeover and new clothes?
Aidan Weinglas at 3:19PM
I believe that reality TV can be profitable and positive. Remember why we got into this.
Sarah Madrick at 3:27PM
What if we had the lightning strike bad people: rapists or people who torture horses?
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Subject: | Re: BAM! Takin’ initiative, AGAIN |
| From: | Nick Carcallo | |
| Date: | 11/20/08 02:55 PM |
Looks like LSESII are being lame about this. See email below. They’re not doing much to combat the image of lightning struck people as being really difficult people.
Stay tuned: I’m gonna ask around to find some other survivors.
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From: info@lseesssii.com Date: November 20, 10:21:02 AM PDT To: Nick Carcallo PoetryManBumbleBee7488@wonderglen.com Subject: Lightning Strike Victims
Dear Mr. Carcallo,
Thank you for your interest in The Lightning Strike and Electric Shock Survivors International.
While lightning strike victims span all ages, races and walks of life, including, per your request, individuals who are “hot, young and enthusiastic,” those of us who have been lucky enough tosurvive the deeply painful injury of a lighting strike and its side effects are most assuredly not “OK with getting hit by lightning again.”
Best of luck in your life and career, And may you be blessed with a lightning-strike free life,
The LSEESSI Communications Department |
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Subject: | Lightning Strike Survivor Goldmine |
| From: | Nick Carcallo | |
| Date: | 11/20/08 09:09 AM |
Hey y’all,
I came across an incredible organization that could be perfect for the “Lightning Rods” show:
LSESSI, The Lightning Strike and Electric Shock Survivors International.
Here’s the email I sent them to get some contestants for the show. (Please forward this to all your friends, too!)
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From: Nick Carcallo PoetryManBumbleBee7488@wonderglen.com Date: November 20, 8:19:56 AM PDT Subject: Lightning Strike Victims
“Wassup lightning strikers … we’re doing a KICKASS reality show and we aremaccepting headshots for contestants … preferably hot, young, enthusiastic but willing to be OK with getting hit by lightning again.
Fat prize money … Holler back … Nick” |
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Subject: | Our Lawyer’s Hobby? |
| From: | Sarah Madrick | |
| Date: | 11/19/08 03:50 PM |
Hello Everyone,
Our lawyer, Harold Stusnick, just sent this to us. It looks like he has an interest in acting, too, which I admire him for!
xo, Sarah
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Subject: | Famous Historical Lightning-Strike Case |
| From: | Sarah Madrick | |
| Date: | 11/19/08 12:07 PM |
Spoke to Stusnick. He gave the legal go-ahead for “Lightning Rods” show. Memo attached.
Pieter Voorhees at 11:30AM
Great news about Stusnick memo. “Lightning Rods” is green lighted.
Aidan will take the helms on this. Full steam!
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Subject: | Lighting Rods – Production Mtg. minutes |
| From: | Miriam Kinkheune | |
| Date: | 11/19/08 11:32 AM |
Minutes from the production meeting about “Lightning Rods”
The Wonder Glen Meeting Minutes – recorded by Miriam K., (cert. stenographer)
Pieter: Just back from Delmonico’s. Ate two pounds of swordfishes, so let’s make this short. The scare with Dean’s lightning strike is over and we know it was hysterical hog shit. Let’s move on. I been striked by lightning, too, on Jacque’s boat. A lot of people have got their gikki zapped by Thor’s hammer. It’s not that rare. So this gives me an idea for our new show: Lightning Rods.
Aidan: Dean went through a lot of –
Pieter: Fetch four or five assholes who got already hit by lightning, so we know they are electrical conductors, then we place them in a house, OK?
Sarah: The Discovery Channel already has a show that’s an eyewitness re-enactment style show about lightning.
Pieter: No. This is a contest. We have these folks do some activities, high risk for getting re-striked: go up on a pole, golf in a foil suit, go up to a high place and hold up a metal stick. Big money for the first person who takes a bolt.
Sarah: Would that be legal?
Pieter: Ask Stusnick.
Sarah: Is that our lawyer?
Pieter: Stusnick is one of the best humans beings there is.
Sarah: I looked at his web site and was wondering … what kind of lawyer is he? Real estate?
Pieter: What kind of lawyer is he? He’s a lawyer that removed a bullet out of a soldier’s calf in the Falklands.
Miriam: You were in the Falklands war?
Pieter: Officially, no. Nor was I a member of the Black Hounds.
Miriam: Black Hounds?
Pieter: Google it.
[Miriam K. note: stusnicklaw.com and zwartehonden.nl]
Aidan: Sorry, but we picked our lawyer because he sucked a bullet out of your thigh?
Pieter: [unintelligible]
[Miriam K. note: Pieter said a whole bunch of things in another language at this point]
Aidan: Even if Stusnick is a great lawyer, I think we need to think hard about whether we really want to do a reality show where we’re hoping people will get electrocuted. Dean got lucky, but he is really—
Pieter: I got some swordfishes in here that really want to go swimming in the toilet. Meeting adjourned.
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Subject: | Re: LIGHTNING ATTACK |
| From: | Miriam Kinkheune | |
| Date: | 11/18/08 09:04 AM |
Did I misunderstand, or was the day-off plan canceled after Aidan’s message was discovered to be false? Where is everyone?
Pieter Voorhees at 10:15AM
Let’s march ahead with the day-off plan as the wheel was already set in motion. Miriam, you are approved to go but please take the trouble of restocking the combs and the comb disinfector fluid (blue stuff) in the men’s bathroom before you leave.
Aidan Weinglas at 10:40AM
I want to be on the record that my message was filled with honesty and terror. It was in no way false nor was it meant to be misleading. Miriam, if you are still there could you turn off the lava lamp in the conference room. It’s an energy-suck and I want to try to make Wonder Glen greener!
P.S. Dean is doing better today. He did 40 sit-ups before brunch!
Nick Carcallo at 11:15AM
The incident with Dean has made me think about death and religion. I could not wake up before 11 today. I am reading the Illuminati and it’s hella scary, y’all. If you have any doubts that a secret society was at work within the government, then you may want to check it out:
http://www.amazon.com/Illuminati-Larry-Burkett/dp/0785275290
especially the shit on Babylonian Witchcraft and the origin of the number 666.
Sarah Madrick at 4:12PM
Hi everyone! I did assume we were off but it was a much needed beach day for me 
. Lance bought a boogie board and we ate spicy fish tacos! Kisses to Dean, Aidan! See everyone tomorrow.
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Subject: | LIGHTNING ATTACK! |
| From: | Aidan Weinglas | |
| Date: | 11/17/08 05:55 PM |
Everyone: I have horrible news, and I will be out of the office indefinitely. My partner of 15 years and my best friend and companion, Dean Payne, was struck by a huge lightning bolt at 3:15 p.m. Mountain Time.
Pieter Voorhees at 6:23PM
I want the whole staff to come to the coffin burying ceremony, and take a couple days off, Aidan. With full pay.
Nick Carcallo at 6:45PM
I’m going to lay it on the line and say this, even though it’s probably too soon. Dean was awesome, man, but he wasn’t right for you … I know that you’re going to find someone even more amazing very soon.
Aidan Weinglas at 7:00PM
Oh my god. I am so sorry everyone. I re-read my message and realize how it could be misunderstood. Dean is doing fine. He is understandably shaken up but we’re here at the Sandpiper House in Boulder just holed up in our suite, thanking our lucky stars. He said being struck by a huge lightning bolt was awful. Headache, vision, diarrhea, e.d. He said for non-victims it is hard to imagine getting struck by a huge lightning bolt such as this.
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