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WONDERGLEN » ps-and-qs

Welcome, Wondergleners, to the “Ps and Qs” section - our office policy manual!

While most other companies are hamstringed with stuffy rules and policies, we at Wonderglen have always done things with our unique style … the Wonder Glen style! That includes chilling out and not flipping out about rules. Here is the only office policy you need to know - a.k.a.

The Basic Policy:


Use common sense and respect others! That’s it!†*

Drug Policy

†Update to basic policy, added 10/30/08 by Pieter Voorhees.

 

Please read and memorize so that we do not have any legal cowshit splashing down into our personal office space. This kind of policies shouldn’t have to be necessary, folks, just use your head and will be fine.

 

The Wonder Glen realizes that the misuse of drugs and alcohol impairs employee health and productivity, and we are 100% obedient with local, state and federal laws (21 U.S.C. § 841, et. seq.) regarding this important thing.

 

The Wonder Glen fully supports its employees to not be an idiot about drugs in the office. We also have a fun anagrithm (DDRUGS) to remind you how to do the right thing:

 

D: Don’t use drugs and alcohol at work. †a

D: Drugs use is a personal choice, but working under drugs is not

R: Remember at office parties to provide biers for people who do not drink hard boozes

U: Undergo treatment if you have a drug problem

G: Government will get involved if they can … let’s prevent that.

S: Smoking pot can effect.

 

 

†There is obvious exception to this rule for anyone who has 25 years of right calf and knee pain from bullets wound or some fishing muscle strains.

 

a[This rules may be different when working overseas or at nightclubs and casinos.]

Fridge Policy

†Update to basic policy, added 10/31/08 by Nick Carcallo

 

The Wonderglen has a simple and easily understandable policy regarding food in the staff fridge.

 

Summary: DO NOT EAT S#H*T THAT IS NOT YOURS!!! Think about it: Would you eat a carton of something out of a f*c^ng!@ dumpster? Then why would you eat something that you have no idea what’s in it? (aka., you did not put it in the fridge, so don’t eat it:

 

      ”Responsibility have you ever heard of it baby?

      I’m a strong chick and you will never worry me baby.”

 

—The Ghetto Twiinz, “Responsibility”