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WONDERGLEN » zulu
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Subject: Is our foyer a garbage dump?
From: Sarah Madrick
Date: 12/12/08 01:45 PM

People, please don’t leave all your stuff in the foyer.  Besides a safety issue, there is a workload issue. I am busy doing my own production work, so I can’t clean up this area constantly. Specifically, please remove the following items:

 

    • bicycle with the word “schwinn” written in the top rod of it

    • a gym bag with a “420 24/7’” patch

    • an aluminum briefcase

    • a pair of Sebago driving moccasins

    • a coffee cup that says, “I go from Zero to Bitch in five seconds flat,” and this awful doll:

 

Replies

Pieter Voorhees Pieter Voorhees at 1:21PM

Briefcase is a doomsday kit and must remain next to front exit of building.

Aidan Weinglas Aidan Weinglas at 1:34PM

I sincerely apologize.  I will get the coffee mug and the moccasins out of there.

Nick Carcallo Nick Carcallo at 1:43PM

My friend Carlos is coming by to get the duffle bag in the next couple weeks.

Miriam Kinkheune Miriam Kinkheune at 1:52PM

I am so sorry people didn’t like my Christmas angel.  I spent all weekend making it and came in on the weekend so it would surprise people when they came in today.  My fault for trying to add some cheer.

Sarah Madrick Sarah Madrick at 2:00PM

I guess the doll is o.k.  It’s just the feet that creep me out.  It reminds me of when I was pigeon-toed and had to wear a brace to bed.  It also reminds me of when my Nana was in a coma but it looked like she was looking at you wherever you were.

Miriam Kinkheune Miriam Kinkheune at 2:11PM

Can you learn to like her?

Pieter Voorhees Pieter Voorhees at 2:30PM

Too late, I gave that kabouter to my ridgebacks.  

Subject: A hard thing to talk about …
From: Sarah Madrick
Date: 12/10/08 11:00 AM

I hope this isn’t an embarrassing post, but so what, it’s important: There are three men and only two women working at this company: a young woman and an older woman. All of us share the same bathroom space except for Pieter’s executive shower space which we don’t get to use.

 

When I was in college, I was always in an all-women’s dorm or living off-campus with girl soccer players. I guess what I’m getting at is in terms of what do we want as women to see in our shared bathroom space. In regards of how women are different from men.

Replies

Nick Carcallo Nick Carcallo at 12:00PM

Wha?

Aidan Weinglas Aidan Weinglas at 12:04PM

I totally agree!

Miriam Kinkheune Miriam Kinkheune at 12:12PM

Sarah, you’re going to have to be more specific, hon. Do you mean sanitary napkin disposal?

Nick Carcallo Nick Carcallo at 12:42PM

Isn’t that already there? That white metal mailbox?

Miriam Kinkheune Miriam Kinkheune at 12:49PM

Do you mean men leaving the toilet seat up?

Pieter Voorhees Pieter Voorhees at 1:00PM

In Holland they got that solved. It even know if you’re a man or a lady or even if you’ve got to dump or piss with a laser.

Miriam Kinkheune Miriam Kinkheune at 1:15PM

Well until Sarah chimes in, I do think the gentlemen could do a better job of wiping up

Nick Carcallo Nick Carcallo at 1:21PM

We all know it, but we won’t admit it: men should sit down. It’s leftover from the Masculocracy. I promise to my sisters at Wonderglen to change.

Aidan Weinglas Aidan Weinglas at 1:25PM

Wow. This is important even if it’s hard to talk about: Nature is not always pretty: women have periods, yes. Men have penises. Yes. And they can sometimes spray the rim of the seat or the floor. And yes, there is a lot of sexism in bathroom design and I think WG can take an important step towards a brighter more progressive and gender-equitable space. Thank you Sarah, for your courage.

Sarah Madrick Sarah Madrick at 2:04PM

I just got back and all I can say is: OHMIGOD, gross!!!! I didn’t mean any of that! I meant the color. All of the women’s bathrooms in college were painted women’s colors: teal, coral. aqua. This one is like … beige.

Pieter Voorhees Pieter Voorhees at 2:56PM

No we’re not painting the bathroom. And no guys is gonna’ pee like an animal, sitting down — not on my watch. I MEAN IT.

Subject: Carneval of Whining
From: Pieter Voorhees
Date: 12/05/08 09:18 AM

There is too many people at Wonderglen complains to me today about this or that: too much work, not enough work, vacation times is not long enough, ja ja ja. This is what I see when you are talking to me:

 

 

Please focus on your tasks and not your miniature problems!

 

Replies

Aidan Weinglas Aidan Weinglas at 3:34PM

I am not sure where this is coming from. Who was complaining?

Nick Carcallo Nick Carcallo at 3:45PM

I asked for a day off in two months to see an amazing Dij player.

Miriam Kinkheune Miriam Kinkheune at 3:52PM

I wasn’t complaining, but I asked if there was a way to do a better job of getting payroll turned around. Is that off limits?

Sarah Madrick Sarah Madrick at 4:00PM

I don’t think I complained. I asked if there were any projects I could get more responsibility on.

Aidan Weinglas Aidan Weinglas at 4:11PM

Are these the comments that you were referring to, Pieter?

Pieter Voorhees Pieter Voorhees at 10:27AM

Neverminds! I don’t feel like discussing about it. I have lost 55% of my stocks portfolios in Asian markets. This means no Wyoming Elk trips this year and having to buy cheaper cars. Kak!!!!!

Subject: Zulu Council – Fridge Problems
From: Nick Carcallo
Date: 10/29/08 09:35 AM

Wonder Glens: Those of you who have gotten to know me know that I follow a path of non-confrontation (MLK/Gandhi), peace and respect. However, there comes a time when individual rights take precedent, and I am referring specifically to whoever ate my brownies in the staff fridge. I tend to assume the best about people … but that trust has been savagely violated in this instance, without pointing fingers.

 

I REPEAT: DO NOT eat food that is not yours in the staff fridge. We might want to think about a FRIDGE POLICY. The brownies in question were prescription medication and thus were toxic for untrained individuals, as we all have sadly witnessed.

 

Let’s walk in the footsteps of dignity.

 

Peace,

 

 

Nick

Replies

Miriam Miriam Kinkheune at 10:09AM

Nick, perhaps instead of a fridge policy, maybe Wonder Glen needs a drug policy? Just a thought.

Pieter Pieter Voorhees at 11:15AM

I have read all the bickerings ! The Zulu Council is a forum intended to make you sort matters out by yourselfs, but it become clear that the boss’s boot needs to be stomped down in this situation. We will have a fridge and a drug policy posted in the Ps and Qs section of our Intranet ASAP. Nick, please write up a fridge policy since this is what you are crying foul ball about. I will cook up a drug policy tonight and post it myself using common sense.

Subject: Columbus Day Protest
From: Nick Carcallo
Date: 10/13/08 10:14 AM

I wanted to speak out about the little paper mashay ships in the foyer. I assume they are the The Piña, the Minta, and the Santa Maria, and I assume somebody put those there to celebreate Columbus Day?

 

FYI, according to Wikipedia, Christopher Columbus was a religious fanatic with an obsession of eliminating non-Christians, by means of murder, conversion, or at the very least, enslavement.

Consider this message me raising my fist against the shame and outrage at Columbus Day.

Replies

Miriam Kinkheune at 10:17AM
Yes, I put those ships there, Nick, to celebrate Christopher Columbus’ discovery of the United States. Thanks to him you and I are both here with good jobs and freedom. Regarding outrage, it is an outrage that we have to work on this important holiday, so the least we can do is have some tiny papier-mâché boats in Columbus’ honor.
Pieter Voorhees at 10:27AM
OK, let’s not inflate this stupid holiday. You are both halfway correct, Cristobal Colon was a hero on par with a Neil Armstrong or a Henry Ford and he also may have massacred some folks. So let’s call it a draw. The tiny ships can stay in the foyer.
Aidan Weinglas at 10:45PM
I am on the fence about this one. In a way I think it’s weird timing because tomorrow is actually the beginning of an important holiday in my religion (Judaism), called Sukkot which is a Biblical pilgrimage festival that occurs in autumn on the 15th day of the month of Tishri. I wasn’t going to say anything about having to work on Sukkot, but it is interesting.
Miriam Kinkheune at 10:49AM
Hi Aidan, it looks like you left the links to the description you copied and pasted from Wikipedia. I’m not at all questioning your level of Jewishnesh, but is this holiday something you know a lot about and normally celebrate? Just wondering because didn’t you once joke with your friends in the conference room that you wanted to change your name to something less “Jewy”?
Aidan Weinglas at 11:08AM
My point is that when you are part of the dominating cultural group (aka Christianity in this case), it is often hard to see the plight of those less fortunate.
Nick Carcallo at 11:31AM
Dropping in here to second Aidan’s point. It’s called Hemegony, something I learned about in my very first community college class (“Alternative Histories, from Ishtakaba to Ralph Nader”). I have many Jewish friends who feel belittled by Christmas and all of the huge crosses on hills, etc. They should be painted with blood.
Sarah Madrick at 11:40AM
I followed your Wikipedia links Aidan! I had no idea that holiday even existed, but I read about the little huts called sukkot that the Jewish people use to have snacks and take naps in. They are so cute! I was brainstorming if there is a way to make these little houses part of our Hobbit show?!
Aidan Weinglas at 11:57AM
Sarah I am sure you did not intend it as such, but your message could be read as condescending.
Nick Carcallo at 12:15PM
I agree with Aidan. We need to watch what we say in these dangerous times.
Pieter Voorhees at 12:18PM
Pokkenlijder! I am having the sensation that I just exited a fucking time machine in Beirut 1976. Trust me that you do not want to know what the Lebanese Civil War look like from the ground level. Let’s swallow down our axes, folks: who cares about the Jews, Christian, muslim or the other one. Everybody do what he want to do, and just arrive to work on time. OK?
Miriam Kinkheune at 12:42PM
I think the point is, what holidays does Wonder Glen observe?
Pieter Voorhees at 1:07AM
Easy one: Christmas, Veteran day, July 4th, Thanksgiving. I think that should do it, ya?
Nick Carcallo at 1:11PM
Martin Luther King, Jr. day is a federal holiday. I think we would be making a huge statement to neglect it.
Aidan Weinglas at 1:25PM
I am fine coming to work during Passover, although Dean has hinted that he wants to take me to an early dinner to celebrate (He is in the process of converting!) so I may duck out early on that day, as well as Purim and Hanukkah.
Miriam Kinkheune at 2:07PM
There are several other federally recognized holidays, including Labor Day, Memorial and Washington’s birthday — and Columbus Day, by the way, is one of those.
Pieter Voorhees at 2:23PM
Let’s just stick with the normal holiday that everybody take off. Wake up and if you feel confusion about coming to work, call the post office – if it’s closed, you stay home. Simple enough. Miriam, get a calendar together with some X’s on those day-offs.
Miriam Kinkheune at 2:52PM
Since Columbus day is on that list, and we have now worked almost half of it, I would politely request to leave early today.
Pieter Voorhees at 3:27PM
Let’s start with the Columbus day next year in order to make the payrolls tidy. Half-days can gum up the accounting systems. Please stay all the way until dusk falls today. Cheers.
Subject: COMPUTER ISSUES
From: Pieter Voorhees
Date: 10/08/08 10:25 AM

So I am going to start with a criticism here that you all know about: We have been having some major computer problems. Why did it take two fucking month to get a WonderGlen Intranet site up and running? I don’t know if it is Nick or Miriam’s duty, but let’s get somebody to take charge here.

Replies

Sarah Madrick at 1:39PM

Zulu Council is a super idea. We had something like this at my soccer camp called Paddle Pole. It worked! I guess for my criticism, I think it is Nick’s fault. He has the most computer knowledge and even worked at Circuit City, right? Miriam can’t be expected to catch up on everything that’s been happening in the computer world.

Miriam Kinkheune at 1:44PM

?

Miriam Kinkheune at 2:55PM

I guess I did the question mark because “yes” I can catch up on things and learn programs, but I guess that’s not really what an office manager does. I am happy to get into that stuff, but I am little confused about my role?

Nick Carcallo at 3:22PM

going to drop a bomb here: wake up: I am not an IT manager or a sys admin. I understand a lot of networking, systems and hardware, and yes I can troubleshoot a LAN or a WAN in a jam, but I am spending all my time on location, getting footage, scouting talent and looking for projects, etc . . . Re-boot. Peace.

Aidan Weinglas at 4:04PM

I love this format, Pieter, and that’s why I agreed to it, too, but Hey! Easy on Nick, Pieter. He is right. We can’t just lean on him every time something goes kaput! He is doing too much good stuff for us right now. Honestly, Miriam, you need to get somebody in on a contract basis and get it done. In Hollywood, that’s what we did: it’s called Letting Your Fingers Do The Walking.

Miriam Kinkheune at 4:05PM

First of all, Nick worked at Toys R Us, not Circuit City (at least according to his resume). Aidan, I asked you 7 weeks ago if you wanted me to hire a contractor for this and you said you would talk to Pieter. I feel more confused now.

Pieter Voorhees at 5:01PM

EVERYBODY FAILED ON THIS, BUT WE ARE MOVING ON AND YOU ALL MUST DO BETTER. Bringing back Zulu Council has brought back some old memories. One night when I was on a snake-filming team, Richard said to me: “Pieter, it was a goddamn dumb thing to taunt a Boomslang snake like that just to get some more footage. We lost a good strong grip and you are going to pay his family $15.00.” I accepted it and paid this man’s family. Two days later, the man woke up: he must have had some immunity from being native and just dropped into a little bit of a coma.